By John Cranford
Here they come again. With their advanced beach-tired wagons brimming with chairs, towels, floaty things, sun tan lotions, shovels, cabanas and coolers full of Bud Light. They flock from the North and landlocked Southern states for one week of glory by the sea. They haven’t seen the sun in months and all they want is to ride a cool buzz into the evening, searching for a hookup, a good band or a place to shake their butts. They’re Here. They’re Spring Breakers.
Every March we prepare for the arrival of thousands of college students coming to our little island to spend the cash they’ve been hiding away all semester. The icy tundras of Ohio and Pennsylvania have cast a shadow of gloom all winter and they need sunshine. And beer.
As they arrive, bartenders and musicians alike cringe, knowing they’re not always the best tippers and are prone to relentlessly requesting “Wagon Wheel” or “Free Bird”. They plow drunkenly into the stage, spilling beer on gear and trampling over microphone cables. They shout at bartenders because apparently they haven’t had a shot in 5 minutes and they need another one NOW.
Even though their presence can be a month long annoyance, especially at crosswalks on the South End or late night at The Boardroom, we need them. It’s a percentage of these young kids that eventually come back to HHI as interns, summer job hopefuls and even lifelong residents. We need this sun-searching clan to come to our island and see all the awesome things we have to offer in hopes that they may return and spread some youthful longevity to our mostly retiree population.
If you are a spring breaker and are reading this, we aren’t trying to offend you. We are simply asking y’all to give us a break. Hell, we’ll probably even crack a beer or two with y’all. Be cordial on our beaches and bike paths. Remember that there are cars on the road and even though you’re scrolling Tinder, you still need to look both ways before crossing. If you’re out late night, tip well and the bartender is likely going to serve you a little faster the next time you need a drink. And please, whatever you do, don’t ask the band for “Freebird”.
